I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
