Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
