Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
