I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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