Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
