I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
