when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
