Whod you bang
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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