I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
