So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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