Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
