I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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