I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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