Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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