don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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