you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
