i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
