only if we run a train.
done.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
