nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
