didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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