i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
