I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
