I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
