why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just want to make out with him forever
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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