all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
