Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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