Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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