I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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