its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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