Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
