Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
