I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
