Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You can't just leave with hair like that
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
