Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
