Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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