I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
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All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
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These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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