No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
