We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
