your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
