Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
