Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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