I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize