Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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