Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
