My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
