He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
