The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Come on in and take your pants off
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