i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
