The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
