Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Randomize
