Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize