She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
