I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize