I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
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It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
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Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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