Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung

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(818): View more from California

lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated

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(907): View more from Alaska

If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night

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(512): View more from Texas

i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.

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(360): View more from Washington

Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?

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(773): View more from Illinois

Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude

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