omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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