very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
