I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
