my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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